June 14th

Last day of having Nims… It’s true, I wanted to cry. Is it normal to form such an attachment to your teachers? I don’t talk with them more than other students. In fact I may speak less. I suppose I just like authority figures. Unless they are bringing me down, then I bring the hate.

Today was the last day of school. It doesn’t feel that way; it is sixty eight degrees and cold. I had my math final, and then it was over. I sat on the bus and it actually sank in, but I had to pretend to be cool because I was sitting next to someone who I knew but wasn’t friends with.

But that isn’t what this post is about, recently I saw a counselor and she was all “dear, it’s great to have goals, but you need to be happy in the present.”

Now, I really liked this chick, but I didn’t actually like what she said because I didn’t want to change much. But I have been on a real college binge lately, and I kind of burnt myself out on the subject. Sure, I could organize and write essays for three more months, but if I spend all my time planning how I got there then it is going to suck when I am actually there. I want to have a full summer, no matter how cheesy that sounds. I want to do all of the photography projects that I have been planning with chasten, see the Harry Potter Preview and perfect my use of British lingo. I don’t want to get where I am going and not have anything to show for it.

I already said that yesterday that I hung out with some of my friends, and yes some were boys. But it wasn’t all “oooooooh, I am hanging out with a boy!” because they were my friends. If that had happened last year I would have been an awkward individual the whole time. Not that I wasn’t but I was just my natural lovable awkward self. I sat with Sariah on the couch, and Kellie used us as a mattress to sit on, and we watched Johnson and Basil play on the wii. It was just a smashing good time… I want my summer to be like that. I don’t want to focus on the fact that I will leave in three years, I want to focus on what I am going to do this month, week, tomorrow.

That doesn’t mean I am going to stop obsessively researching colleges. It doesn’t mean I am not going to make lists consisting of Buckingham Palace, Harrods and Big Ben titled “Places I must see and take pictures of.” Because I don’t think that I could, that wouldn’t be me.

On a totally unrelated note, I am going to rock a quote tatt when I am eighteen. 

My next year's schedule!